Letters: May 9

The Lord God contact lens fitter fitted the woman from the Garden of Eden. The Lord God contact lens fitter said: ‘You are free to wear your contact lenses for all days in the garden, except the seventh day of each week. On that day you shall wear your glasses; the moment you wear your contact lenses you are surely doomed to die.’

Now the optometrist was the most cunning of all the animals. He asked the woman: ‘Did The Lord God contact lens fitter really tell you not to wear your contact lenses on the seventh day?’ The woman answered: ‘We may wear our contact lenses for all days in the garden, except the seventh day of each week. On that day we shall wear our glasses, or we are surely doomed to die.’