A new year is often seen as a chance for a new start and four years ago I decided it was time to do some work on my own mindfulness. I downloaded various apps, such as Calm and Bhuddify and began spending more time in a state of meditation. I really enjoyed the experience and, in my conversations with others, I was recommended to read what turned out to be a fascinating book, Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine.
The book helped me identify which of the 10 methods of self-sabotage, which the author personifies in the book as ‘saboteurs’, were most prevalent in my own world. After reading the book, further research led me to embark on a six-week course with several other friends and coaches to understand more about myself and how these saboteurs can influence my behaviours.
It was a fascinating journey, so much so that I have since become an accredited coach myself for Positive Intelligence. By using some of the tools and techniques included in the book, clients on the course can improve their own positivity and, in particular, use their learning to find positive outcomes from what would normally appear to be highly negative situations.
What are the saboteurs?
The first step in understanding your own Positive Intelligence (PQ) score, is to understand the saboteurs who could be hijacking your positivity. Chamine suggests that ‘the Judge’ is the master saboteur, but has nine accomplices.
I have summarised the saboteurs below. As you consider each method of self-sabotage, you may notice how these apply to you and people you know. PQ is all about self-development, so I would avoid spending too much time worrying about everyone else. The saboteurs have no natural order and none are better or worse than any others.
The 10 Saboteurs
1. Judge
As a universal saboteur, the judge will beat you up over repeated mistakes, worry you about future risks and causes you to become anxious and fixate on potential negative possibilities. It can go on to trigger other saboteurs, causing unnecessary stress, as well as hinder your confidence and effectiveness.
2. Victim
The victim struggles to feel accepted, focusing on painful, internal feelings and tends to withdraw when criticised. The victim thrives by focusing on emotional stresses and typical victim mentalities, such as frustration, self-isolation and guilt.
3. Pleaser
The pleaser desires to be liked by others, looking for affirmation by helping them. While it may be perfectly fine to help people in need, when the reason behind the action is to fulfil its own need to be liked, it may not be a healthy trait. This is the author’s most commonly heard from saboteur.
4. Restless
The restless saboteur is easily distracted and quickly moves onto the next exciting thing, often leaving others to pick up the pieces. Impatience is a constant theme and struggles to provide a real and lasting focus on issues and relationships.
5. Hyper-vigilant
The hyper-vigilant saboteur is suspicious of what others may be up to, always seeking reassurance through rules or procedures. This can manifest itself as being overly sceptical or even cynical.
6. Hyper-achiever
The hyper-achiever continually looks for affirmation from others about their performance, not to achieve personal goals but to ensure a feeling of self-worth. This can lead to a poor work-life balance as work takes over.
7. Hyper-rational
This saboteur focuses on processing everything rationally. High concentration can cause a loss of focus. Insight, knowledge and understanding is valued most. It analyses rather than experiences feelings.
8. Controller
This saboteur wants to be in control of situations and people’s actions. A strong talker, firm and often confrontational. The controller gets results, but sometimes perceived success makes others feel controlled and resentful.
9. Stickler
The stickler is a perfectionist and likes everything to be in order. People with a strong stickler saboteur can be overly critical of themselves when they do not hit the high standards they expect of themselves, as well as being overly critical of others when they do not meet expectations.
10. Avoider
My second most active saboteur has generally been the avoider. The avoider focuses on the pleasant and positive tasks and pushes the less pleasant to the foot of the pile. The avoider also has a tendency to duck conflict or put off difficult conversations and for this reason often ends up agreeing to help others even though it is inconvenient and could have consequences down the line.
Coaching around PQ is designed to help boost the mental fitness muscles. If you’d like more information, please feel free to email mentoris58@gmail.com.